Tackling Hard Truths: Our community will be vulnerable adults
Over the course of any parent’s life, you go through a rollercoaster of emotions.
You child goes to school, your child leaves home, your child has challenges. The ups and downs, you often go through them together.
But for parents of children with SEND, there are often even more of these ups and downs. The rollercoaster is much more adrenaline-pumping! Dealing with communication difficulties, countless health appointments, EHCPs, choosing schools and colleges (mainstream versus SEND, what about residential?!), and all the while considering their lives, wanting them to the reach their full potential and be happy and healthy.
One of these scarier considerations is how they will get on with the outside world. The realisation that many members of the SEND community will be vulnerable adults is tough. There’s worries for any parent about your child venturing into the world, but for parents of these soon-to-be vulnerable adults, the worries are compounded.
What do you mean?
Some not so fun statistics coming up, so do skip if you feel like this will be too hard to read:
9 out of 10 people with learning difficulties have experienced bullying or harassment
People with learning difficulties are more vulnerable to sexual abuse
People with learning difficulties may perform unwanted sexual contact with others or sexual behaviours, sometimes because they are unaware of the implications or what they are doing. This behaviour is complex, and so these sorts of issues need to be dealt with very sensitively. The linked content explores difficult sexual behaviour clearly and extensively - consider reading this but take into account that the Challenging Behaviour Foundation is primarily designed for those with severe learning difficulties.
It’s not easy to face these realities, and it’s only really in the last few decades that there has been considerable investigation and research into the experiences of people with SEND, including reports into treatment in residential homes, which have been covered extensively on the news in recent years.
What can I do as a parent?
Giving your young person the tools to identify unsafe, unkind, and harmful behaviours is the first step in empowering them to take action to get help and support if they are in any of these situations. The Learning for Life project teaches across the primary RSE curriculum in a way that is age-appropriate right through to young adulthood. It explores a wide range of topics to support the social, emotional, and physical education and wellbeing of learners with SEND, and allows for significant differentiation to specialise the learning to the appropriate ages, topics, and discussions of specific risks. Let’s look at one example in depth.
A hand with a red cross over it held over a female body drawing explaining a private, 'Stop, No, Don't Go' Zone.
Example 1: Appropriate Touch
The ‘Growing Up and Keeping Safe’ series explores appropriate versus inappropriate touch. This is clearly explained and repeated throughout the series, describing parts of the body as ‘Stop, No, Do Not Show’ zones which are the private places of the body, places that are not okay or acceptable for us to touch on others, or them to touch on us. Alternatively, ‘Green, Good to Go’ zones which are the public parts of the body, which are okay or acceptable to touch. Examples of this acceptable behaviour are explained and modelled as safe and helpful. The video ‘Appropriate Touch’ is Video 6 in this series, developing on understand of public versus private, and male and female bodies explored in Videos 1-5.
We build the series to be watched in order, so that these early skills and concepts are developed first and later teaching can be underpinned by these; understanding appropriate versus inappropriate touch must be underpinned by understanding of public versus private and understanding of the human body and it’s private and public zones.
Teaching on appropriate and inappropriate touch enables learners to understand two key things:
That they cannot touch other people in their ‘Stop, No, Do Not Show’ zones, because these are private to the other person
Other people cannot touch them in their ‘Stop, No, Do Not Show’ zones, because these are private to them
Individuals with learning difficulties having the tools to understand that they shouldn’t touch others inappropriately or be touched inappropriately makes them more likely to identify unsafe sexualised behaviour, not do it themselves, and seek out support if it happens to them. This reduces the risk of them unknowingly performing sexualised behaviour and harassing others, and of them being sexually abused or exploited by others.
Let’s look at a few more examples briefly.
A screenshot from Video 8 - Ending Friendships, matching scenarios to caring and uncaring friendships.
Example 2: Caring Relationships
Problem: learners are less likely to know when their friends or family members are treating them in a way which is unsafe or harmful, leaving them open to abuse by those they have these relationships with, whether verbal, financial, and more.
Resource: the ‘Caring Friendships’ series explores when relationships are caring and uncaring (Video 6), enabling learners to understand when behaviour of their ‘friends’ may be unsafe, harmful, or lead them into risky situations. It also teaches how to make the decision that these relationships are bad, and how to end these friendships (Video 8). The ‘Families’ series develops on these topics more specifically within family dynamics.
Outcome: reduced risk of exploitation and abuse by those closest to them by providing the tools to identify unsafe behaviour of others, seek support, and end these relationships, particularly in favour of others which are more beneficial, supportive, and joyful.
Example 3: Harmful Substances
Problem: people with learning difficulties may have less understanding around harmful substances like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes/vaping, and more (including the differences between illegal drugs and helpful medicines), which can lead them into unsafe situations where they are offered harmful substances for which they do not know the implications, and may be pressured into taking by others.
Resource: Video 6 of the ‘Understanding Health and Prevention’ series explores these substances and discusses situations where they may be offered and pressure may be put on the individual to have the drink/drug/cigarette. This teaches safe choices regarding harmful substances.
Outcome: learners feel more aware of what is and isn’t safe to take, feel empowered to express safe choices.
Throughout the Learning for Life project, we have considered these vulnerabilities in building a toolkit for learners to keep themselves safe, know when and how to seek support, and live life happily and healthily. Woven into each series is the concept of consent, and not just sexual consent, but consent in all walks of life, allowing our community to understand that they are in control and can make their own choices, in conjunction with their safe and trusted adults when needed. These concepts are developed early on and continually explored within each and every series; we recommend beginning at Series 1: ‘Growing Up and Keeping Safe’, and working through the project in order of it’s release as certain concepts introduced in these early series are required for later learning.
And because we don’t want anyone to lose out on developing this toolkit, Learning for Life is totally free to access and use. Simply sign up and get started.