Family or Friend of a Child with SEND? Here’s How to Make Your Festive Party More Welcoming
Christmas is all about love, laughter, and family, but let’s be honest—it can also be absolute chaos. Add in a child with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), and the festive season can feel like navigating a very glittery minefield. For families like ours, it’s not just about keeping the turkey moist or finding the last box of mince pies. It’s about managing meltdowns, dodging judgmental looks, and praying the Christmas lights don’t send anyone over the edge.
If you’re hosting a family with a child with SEND this year, you’ve got the power to make their day a whole lot easier—and maybe even enjoyable! With a few thoughtful tweaks, you can go from “uh-oh” to “ho-ho-ho” in no time.
A Peek Inside Our World
As parents of a child with SEND, we’re forever juggling. We’re the Olympic gymnasts of parenting, trying to keep everything balanced so our child’s needs don’t inconvenience anyone else. Their behaviour has to be “socially acceptable” (whatever that means), and we’re on high alert in case we’re not invited back next year.
Sometimes, our kid just needs to retreat—often to the sweet sanctuary of a screen. And honestly, we get it! When faced with Uncle Dave’s endless cracker jokes and the Christmas playlist on repeat, who wouldn’t? But then we wonder if they’re missing out on the fun, and we’re left feeling judged. It’s a festive cocktail of guilt, stress, and trying to pretend everything’s fine while your toddler has turned the Christmas tree into a climbing frame.
How You Can Be the Christmas Hero
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t take much to make a family with a child with SEND feel welcome and included. With a few simple tweaks (and a bit of humour), you can save the day. Here’s how:
1. Check in Beforehand
Send a quick message or call to ask, “What can I do to help?” It’s that easy. Whether it’s knowing what sensory triggers to avoid or understanding their routine, this little gesture goes a long way.
2. Create a Calm Zone
Let’s face it, Christmas is noisy. Bells jingling, kids screeching, Aunt Sue laughing like a foghorn. Give the child a break by setting up a quiet corner—maybe a comfy chair, a blanket, and some fidget toys. Basically, the kid version of a spa day.
3. Tone Down the Tinsel
We know you love your inflatable snowman and flashing reindeer, but maybe tone it down a notch. Think cozy, not disco. And if you’re blasting “All I Want for Christmas Is You” at full volume, maybe lower it to “Mariah in the next room” levels.
4. Flexible Fun
Plan activities that don’t need everyone to join in at the same time. Crafts, board games, or a scavenger hunt they can dip in and out of are winners. If the child decides they’d rather play quietly or just watch, no biggie—they’re still part of the fun.
5. Food Without Fuss
Not everyone loves Brussels sprouts or your experimental turkey stuffing. Have a few plain, familiar foods on hand—chips, bread rolls, maybe some chicken nuggets if they’re the ultimate comfort food. Bonus: everyone loves nuggets.
6. Skip the Judgy Vibes
This one’s big. If the kid’s glued to their tablet, needs a break, or is doing laps around the room, it’s not because the parents haven’t “tried hard enough.” It’s just life. Instead of judging, offer a smile—or even better, a glass of bubbles. Remind the parest that they are doing an awesome job and that you understand sometimes rest is needed.
7. Be Chill About Plans
Families with kids with SEND might leave early, arrive late, or miss the pudding altogether. Be cool about it. The fact that they’re there at all means they trust you, and that’s huge.
Let’s Keep It Real
Christmas doesn’t have to be Pinterest-perfect to be meaningful. For families like ours, the best gift is knowing we’re welcome, quirks and all. When you open your home and your heart to include us, it makes the season feel magical—even if our kid spends half the time under the dining table.
So, here’s the deal: make your party about connection, laughter, and understanding. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the decorations or the turkey (although a good roast never hurts)—it’s about making everyone feel they belong.
And if all else fails? A good cheese platter and a refill on the Prosecco work wonders for everyone. Cheers to an inclusive and joyful Christmas! 🎄